A Stay

Sorry about the delay, peoples. I was staying away at my Grandmas. To make it up to you, I'll tell you all about it.

            Grandma picked us up at about 3 on Friday, staying long enough to complain about traffic and marvel at how long I kept my room clean. (two weeks styless! YES!!!!!!) We got to her house, which is amazingly clean. I mean as in this is the level of cleanness hospitals strive for. So clean you can actually spot the singular specks of dust in there, just because it is so out of the ordinary. Anyway, as soon as we get there, Grandma instantly starts catering. This I have never been used to, as I very much live in a self-serve house. I'm so used to making my own chilli-zatarans concoctions when I'm hungry that it startles me when I mention I'm hungry one minute, and the next I have a gourmet sandwich (not just a samich, but an actual SANDWICH!) sitting on a plate with parsley and capers smack dab in front of me! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I get my stuff down stairs, and then find out what is on the agenda today. I found their sinister plans to get me a haircut. (dun-dun-DUN!) After they dragged me out from under the car, I was strapped down and taken to my old nemesis: Perfectlook! Making matters worse was this was the same Perfectlook that gave me a cut so bad that they had to call my Aunt PZ over to fix it. I had to remember that I was a cat: they're going to do this anyway, let you keep your dignity. I go in, and this nice Asian lady does my cut. I gave as good a description as I could, and somehow winded up with a crewcut. Huh?

            Day two came, and I awoke to a bacon-onion scramble. We talked about what we were doing today, and decided on going to the Saturday market. I had Heather Alexander's "Wild Seeds" playing in my head the entire drive over. After much confusion, we got there to find it deserted. The music abruptly changed to Peter Gabriel's "Excuse Me", as we were outraged. (sound of cussing and throwing computers) After our minute of silence, we decided to see the town center. This wound up being a three hour search for parking, followed by four hours of escaping parking. Not a good replacement.

            Then today came, when we waited to leave, finding an online slang dictionary to pass the time. We found 30 definitions for Emo alone! We even found out what the difference was between Emo and Goth:

            Emos hate themselves. Goths hate everybody.

            Emos want to kill themselves. Goths want to kill everybody.

Pretty damn simple, huh? They even had "dagnabit" and "mao"! After much bemusement and mirth, our parents came and took us home. And now I'm here, writing to my friend, the World. (accept for criminals, hypocrits, PETA, and the Neo-Nazis. For all you such people, GO TO #$%$ING HELL!)